Am I a F***girl ?

Whoops, this isn’t google… Ah well you’ve caught me now, might as well pull up a chair and listen in b*itches cause shit is going to get real.

That’s right my fellow man eaters i’m about to drop some heat, and no i’m not talking about the 2 minute curry I just stank out the office kitchen with. I’m talking about the TALE TELLING signs that you may in fact be …

* pause for dramatic breath in *

a

f***girl.

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Okay Karen put the paper bag down and take a xanax. You haven’t even passed my check list yet to see if you even are one.

And lets be frank, there are a heap of p*ssy power positives if you are f***girl, need I remind you about super boss b!tch Samantha Jones.

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All right chickadee’s, need I delay this any further .. here is the most important checklist you’ll ever do in your life, right after your groceries and taxes.

AM I A F*** GIRL?! QUIZ

1. Do you see more than one guy at a time? Y/N

A roster? yes, have you heard of it? and no I’m not talking about who’s turn it is in the office to take out the bins. I’M NOT DOING IT SUSAN. IT WASN’T MY CURRY OKAY!?

A big yes to this question would be if you, for e.g meet with Steve for a romantic dinner then Larry for desert. Think about Zac Efron in “Are we officially dating?”

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2. Do You purposely post delicious bikini selfies on Instagram as a thirst trap? Y/N

Whats a thirst trap you ask?, well anonymous reader if you have to ask chances are you are in fact, not f***girl material - and should probably scram off this hilarious quiz! Joking.. for those playing at home …

Urban dictionary defines Thirst Trap as “a sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to profess their attraction.” ... The thirst trap is set when these 'crushes' post a suggestive photo or video, and wait for you to engage with it.

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3. Does the thought of marriage and being with one person the rest of your life gross you the flip out ?!

Y/N

In these unprecedented times, who knows when you’ll ever be able to sleep alone again?! Could you imagine a life of not being able to finish the last slice of pizza? or fighting over who gets the bathroom first ? Are you fries over guys gal? Would you rather say YES to the dress……ing on top of the side salad you’re absolutely not eating next to your schnitty parma on trivia Thursdays at the pub?

Sorry I digress… Phil from accounts stole my arvo yoghurt and I’m getting hungry.

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4. Do you ghost guys when you get bored of speaking to them?

Y/N

Uh huh honey, you ain’t no friendly casper over here. I’m talking straight cold turkey no response to their last message simply because you can’t be bothered and you’re already onto the NEXT boy toy! Additional extra f***girl points to you IF your READ RECEIPTS ARE ON AS WELL! You stone cold killer.

Is that heart made of ICE ICE baby?

Also is there such thing as ghosting your Nan? Asking for a friend.

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5. Have you ever left your Gfs on a night out, for a booty call?

Y/N

The ultimate level of fuckgirl-ery. Dogging the boys, I mean girls * for some D.

And yes i’m talking about Dylan (with a Y) from Tinder, and why do you remember he’s Dylan with a Y??:

1. You have to differentiate from the other Dillon you’re seeing

and

2. Every time you see him you leave thinking “Y DID I DO THAT DO MYSELF?”

© FOX 2018

6. You’re guilty of sending a “You up?” text message to a guy ?

Y/N

If you know you know. * Read in David Attenborough’s voice *

This is the official FG mating call of the night. The female FG will typically wait until the sun has set to distribute the “U up?” to her chosen suiters. On Average its unrecorded how successful the FG’s mating call is, researchers are saying its down to seasonal circumstances, as when the weather is colder, it is harder to coax the male out of their shelters.

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7. You still hit up your ex every now and again?

Y/N

I think we’ve all been guilty of this, I know I have..

Simon if you’re reading this GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN SANDWICH PRESS. I’m missing out on major jaffle making time and I can’t justify spending $7.50 at K-mart. I want my Smeg one back NOW !

SurvivorAU

And there you have it folks, the end of the quiz! Did you get mainly Yes to the above?

If so then CONGRATZ you are a f**kGIRL ! Move along fellas absolutely nothing to see here, just a WAP living her life the way she wants..

Oh WAP? You don’t know what it means?

Woman

Against

Patriarchy

And if you got mainly No’s ? Well CONGRATZ to you too ! Everyone’s a winner here. No losers in this game…

Except f**kboys.

Until next quiz ..

xoxo

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